When I founded Menopause Caf茅 charity in 2017, nobody was talking about menopause. Even those going through it were silent, ignorant and often embarrassed. 聽Now, every celebrity and influencer shares their menopause, and companies claim their products ease our symptoms, cashing in on a vulnerable group, desperate for help.
We need to make menopause part of everyday conversation, so that people recognise when they are perimenopausal, share tips and information, and tell their colleagues, family and friends how it鈥檚 affecting them. Common effects are interrupted sleep, brain fog, hot flushes, and anxiety.
Counsellors need to know that lack of confidence, mood swings, anxiety and suicidal thoughts may be due to the hormonal fluctuations of natural perimenopause, or the abrupt onset of medical or surgical menopause. Clients often don鈥檛 know that they are perimenopausal, since they are still having periods.
Perimenopause causes a range of physical and emotional effects, which are often not recognised as being linked to menopause. In my 40s, my periods became irregular and heavier; I wondered if I should see a gynaecologist. 聽I started forgetting things; I wondered if it was early onset dementia. I was too busy with my counselling business and my family to make a GP appointment for myself. It was only when I watched the BBC documentary, Menopause and Me, that I realised these are menopause symptoms!
As a counsellor, I knew that being listened to in a non-judgmental space helps. That鈥檚 why I created Menopause Caf茅s: free, confidential, respectful discussion groups open to anyone interested in menopause. They are now held worldwide, in person and online.
Lifestyle changes like exercising, eating healthily, relaxation and sleep hygiene can all help. As well as hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and other medications. Do you consider a physical cause for clients鈥� anxiety or suicidal ideation, or those finding 聽they can no longer mask their neurodiversity or trauma, especially if they are a woman in her 40s or 50s? And remember that menopause also happens to some people below 40. It鈥檚 not our role to diagnose, but we can enquire 鈥榳here are you with the menopause?鈥�.
It鈥檚 not all bad: menopause can be liberating and transforming. We no longer care so much about what other people think of us. Everyone needs to know common menopausal symptoms and understand that this is the stage of life when women have to put themselves first for a change, by discovering and attending to their own needs. This is not usually welcomed at work or at home!
So what can you do? 聽Wear a in October to bring menopause into your everyday conversation. A woman asked my 85-year-old father about his Menopause Ribbon. 聽She said her neighbour was in perimenopause and didn鈥檛 know where to get help. Dad told her about the Useful Links page on which gives evidence-based, non-commercial menopause information. If Dad can wear the ribbon, so can you.
October is Menopause Awareness Month, this year鈥檚 theme is Lifestyle Changes.
