Stress often gets a bad rap 鈥� and for good reason. Chronic, unmanaged stress can wreak havoc on your physical and mental health. But not all stress is harmful. In fact, some forms of stress can boost performance, enhance focus, and feel exciting. So how do we tell the difference between 鈥済ood鈥� stress and 鈥渂ad鈥� stress?

To mark Stress Awareness Day (5 November 2025), we spoke with three therapists to understand how stress can both help and hinder us, and how to manage it so that it works for us, not against us.

What is 鈥済ood鈥� stress and 鈥渂ad鈥� stress?

According to all three therapists (Nia Charpentier, Nicola Ball, and Janey Morrisey), the key difference lies in the duration, perceived control, and whether the stress is motivating or debilitating.

Examples of 鈥済ood鈥� stress include giving a presentation, starting a new job, or planning your wedding - situations that are challenging but finite, with meaningful goals.

鈥淕ood stress is short-term and can help us to feel the drive and motivation to see something through,鈥� explains Nia Charpentier. 鈥淧eople sometimes say, 鈥業 perform well under pressure,鈥� and they are referring to a good, temporary and healthy level of stress.鈥�

Nicola Ball defines 鈥済ood鈥� stress - also known as eustress - as: 鈥淧ressure with a point. It鈥檚 time-limited, feels meaningful, and you keep a sense of control and recovery. It sharpens focus and energy.鈥�

鈥淏ad鈥� stress, by contrast, is the kind that wears you down. Examples include juggling caregiving with no support, facing financial insecurity, or being in a toxic relationship - all of which can feel ongoing, uncontrollable, and exhausting.

鈥淚t鈥檚 often longer-term or there鈥檚 no obvious end in sight,鈥� explains Nia. 鈥淏ad stress is pressure that鈥檚 relentless or ambiguous,鈥� adds Nicola. 鈥淵ou feel trapped, depleted, irritable, or helpless.鈥�

What does 鈥済ood鈥� stress feel like?

Our experts say that 鈥済ood鈥� stress doesn鈥檛 always feel comfortable, but it tends to feel exciting and energising.

鈥淵ou may feel a heightened sense of alertness, loss of appetite, perhaps even a little nauseous,鈥� explains Nia. 鈥淭he important point is that we come back down quickly and feel like ourselves again.鈥�

Nicola describes 鈥済ood鈥� stress as 鈥渂utterflies mixed with 鈥業 can do hard things.鈥欌�� Physically, it might feel like a warm buzz and faster breathing that settles afterward. Mentally, your focus sharpens and priorities become clearer.

How 鈥済ood鈥� and 鈥渂ad鈥� stress affect the body

Physiologically, the same systems in the body are activated whether the stress is good or bad - namely, the sympathetic nervous system and the release of cortisol and adrenaline. But our experts say it鈥檚 the intensity and recovery time that makes all the difference.

鈥淕ood stress creates a short, proportionate cortisol and adrenaline rise and a quick return to baseline,鈥� says Nicola. 鈥淗eart-rate variability stays flexible; sleep and appetite remain intact.鈥�

However, bad stress is another story. 鈥淧rolonged stress essentially weakens the immune system,鈥� adds Nia. 鈥淭his has all sorts of long-term implications like high blood pressure, digestive issues like irritable bowel syndrome and of course mental health problems like anxiety and depression.鈥�

Janey agrees, explaining that when stress becomes chronic, the body enters a constant 鈥渇ight or flight鈥� state. This can lead to memory problems, headaches, sleep disorders, reproductive issues, and even cardiovascular disease.

When 鈥済ood鈥� stress turns 鈥渂ad鈥�

All our therapists agree that 鈥済ood鈥� stress can tip into 鈥渂ad鈥� stress. Janey often reminds her clients that 鈥済ood鈥� stress only stays 鈥済ood鈥� if the challenge feels manageable and temporary: 鈥淚f the pressure is prolonged and the person no longer has their support network or coping mechanisms at hand, everything can change,鈥� she explains.

Nia agrees and adds that if boundaries disappear, it can quickly become bad stress. Nicola says that common tipping points include poor sleep, saying yes to everything, taking on too much, or living in constant uncertainty.

How to tell if your stress is helping or hurting

The line between 鈥渕otivated鈥� and 鈥渕iserable鈥� can be subtle, especially when you鈥檙e in the thick of it. Nicola offers a helpful mental check-in she calls the 3R鈥檚 framework:

鈥淎sk yourself: Am I making progress toward something that matters (results)? Am I still connecting with others or am I snapping and withdrawing (relationships)? Am I getting rest and recovery - sleeping, switching off - most days (recovery)?鈥�

She says that if the answer to these is 鈥測es,鈥� your stress is probably working for you. If not, it's time to reassess.

Nia points to another warning sign - a loss of self-identity: 鈥淐lients who feel burnt out often say they don鈥檛 feel like themselves anymore. They鈥檙e more anxious about things that didn鈥檛 used to bother them.鈥�

Spotting the signs of harmful stress

Chronic stress often creeps in slowly, but its signs are undeniable if you know what to look for. Nicola warns of physical red flags like headaches, jaw clenching, chest tightness, IBS flares, and frequent colds - all signs your body is under sustained pressure. Mentally, look out for racing thoughts, memory slips, decision paralysis, and self-critical loops.

Behavioural signs include doom-scrolling, overworking, snapping at others, or numbing out with food or alcohol.

Janey emphasises that if your body no longer calms down after stress, or you feel constantly depleted, you鈥檙e likely in the 鈥渂ad stress鈥� zone.

Tips to manage 鈥渂ad鈥� stress

  1. Acknowledge the issue: All our therapists agree that managing bad stress starts with acknowledging it, and then slowly taking action. Nia emphasises to start by taking tiny steps: 鈥淲hen we鈥檙e in the midst of bad stress, making any changes can feel impossible. That鈥檚 why I always emphasise with clients how we are working together. It鈥檚 about very small steps one day at a time, and nothing drastic.鈥澨� 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听听
  2. Adjust your boundaries: Nicola says she encourages clients to renegotiate workloads, take micro-breaks and practice boundary-setting scripts like: 鈥淚 can do X by Friday, but Y would need next week.鈥澨� 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听
  3. Build your stress toolbox: Janey鈥檚 approach is to build a flexible stress toolbox where clients learn various coping strategies to match their needs on any given day - from deep breathing and movement to journaling, reaching out for support, or just resting.

When to seek professional help

鈥淭he goal isn鈥檛 to have no stress at all,鈥� shares Nicola. 鈥淗uman systems are built for oscillation - challenge and recovery. The issue isn鈥檛 stress per se; it鈥檚 chronic, uncontrollable stress without repair.鈥�

Janey says it鈥檚 important to remember that stress affects everyone but: 鈥淚t鈥檚 dangerous to push through without tuning in. Stress impacts every system in our bodies - we need to stay aware of it to stay healthy.鈥�

While therapy isn't always the right solution for every type of stress, if stress has become a constant presence in your life, seeking professional support can be a powerful step toward relief and clarity.

鈥淭alk therapy can be really helpful,鈥� says Nia, 鈥渋f you don鈥檛 feel like yourself, don鈥檛 see an end in sight, or don鈥檛 know where to start.鈥�

Nicola recommends reaching out if stress has lasted more than two to four weeks and is affecting your sleep, work, relationships, or mood - or if you're turning to substances or compulsive behaviours to cope.

鈥淚f stress feels unmanageable or prolonged - reach out. It really can help,鈥� says Janey.

To find a therapist who specialises in supporting clients with stress visit our Therapist Directory.

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