You鈥檙e still waiting for that friend to reply to agree a time to meet up coffee. Or you鈥檝e realised you only know about your school friendship groups鈥� lives from Facebook, rather than real-life catch ups.

Or you鈥檝e discovered it鈥檚 hard to talk to the friend you used to tell everything to, as now it feels like you鈥檝e nothing in common.

Any of these situations sound familiar? Then you鈥檙e not alone. Keeping up friendships as an adult can be hard.

In fact, one in five therapists (21%) say they have seen an increase in friendship issues coming up in the therapy room over the past year, according to our 2025 Mindometer survey.

It鈥檚 perhaps no coincidence the survey found that loneliness and isolation are also on the rise - with 45% of therapists saying they鈥檇 seen an increase of these issues in the past year.

So is it harder for adults to keep up their friendships now than previously? And what can we do if we鈥檙e struggling with this? We asked some of our members for their views.

聽says that our busy lives, changing working patterns, expensive childcare but also the increase in activities that children do, are just some of the many contributing factors to us having 鈥榣ess time to slow down鈥� and see friends as adults.

She adds: 鈥淲e鈥檙e prone to comparing ourselves to others and in adulthood, it鈥檚 much harder to make friends. Not everyone continues their friendships from school and this can have a knock on effect on self-esteem and confidence.鈥�

The loneliness epidemic

says: 鈥淭here鈥檚 currently an epidemic of loneliness, as society continues to feel more fractured and disconnected.鈥�

He cites reasons including the 鈥渋ncrease in remote working since the pandemic, political, financial and social issues converging and causing fractures in relationships, and a sense that everyone is constantly exhausted and busy.鈥�

He tells how these challenges regularly come up in therapy, as people report a breakdown of friendships, and a real lack of connection in their lives.

He adds: 鈥淭his is particularly true for people in middle age, as research shows that we have the peak number of friendships in our 20s - perhaps when we are still in touch with friends from school and university - and these dwindle over time, as people have children and careers, or move away.鈥�

Ghosting and drifting

And highlights the particular challenges for Gen Z 鈥� those born between 1997 and 2012 - which impact on friendships.

She says: 鈥淕en Z has higher online exposure but a lower sense of belonging or trust. Reaching out, apologising, or expressing care sometimes feels too vulnerable, and people end up ghosting or drifting."

But Ragini adds that at the same there's been a rise in 'connection events' - where people specifically go to planned in-person activities to meet like-minded people and build lasting friendships (such as Timeleft or 222). She says there's a "clear interest" from people who want to make new friends.

If these experiences sound familiar 鈥� what can you do about it? Here are a few ideas from our members.

Remember friendship quality matters more than quantity

Both Jodie and Stefan say that it鈥檚 not the quantity of friends that鈥檚 important but the quality of the friendships.鈥�

Do you have a connection with these people? Do you feel safe with them? Do you trust them?

鈥淲e can be surrounded by crowds of people and feel lonelier than ever, if we do not have a sense of authentic connection,鈥� Stefan adds.

Ragini adds that what matters is that you feel reciprocity and safety, not quantity or frequency.

Be honest with your friends

鈥淟et your friends know how you鈥檙e feeling and what you鈥檙e struggling with. You might be surprised to find they have similar struggles,鈥� says Jodie.

鈥淩emember that other people are probably struggling too and would probably welcome your 鈥榟ello鈥�.鈥�

Explore why you鈥檙e struggling with friendships

Jodie says: 鈥淚鈥檝e noticed people tend to feel bad about themselves and blame themselves for this struggle without noting all the reasons that could be leading up to this difficulty.

鈥淚 support people to explore what might be preventing them from making friends and have seen that there can be a reluctance to do so, often stemming from a bad experience with previous friendships, a fear of rejection or generally being unsure how to communicate.鈥�

鈥楳icrodose鈥� experiences of connection

Stefan says it鈥檚 important to 鈥榤icrodose鈥� experiences of connection. 鈥淓xperiences like smiling at strangers in the street, making small talk with people in shops or at the bus stop, or chatting to office colleagues over a cup of tea are all important ways of feeling more connected,鈥� he adds.

鈥淩esearch shows that the social parts of the brain literally start to shut down and atrophy when we lack social connection, so it's important to keep these experiences going, rather than becoming more introverted or isolated.鈥�

Make your meet-ups manageable

We keep saying that people have busy lives and no time 聽or money to catch up with friends 鈥� so how do we address this?

Jodie recommends scaling down grand plans and being more realistic.

She says: 鈥淪uggest what is manageable to you in terms of meeting up, this could lead to low-cost, manageable and enjoyable days with friends.鈥�

Ragini recommends scheduling community or friendship time as this 鈥渄eserves intentionality.鈥� She recommends to 鈥渟chedule community time the way you would exercise or rest.鈥�

Seek activities that are authentic to you and provide an opportunity to connect

Jodie says: 鈥淚 often encourage people to look at practical ways they could make friends and we usually mind map this together. Frequent suggestions tend to be joining local groups of interest or attending local libraries, community centres or online spaces to see what鈥檚 available.鈥�

Stefan also recommends seeking out 鈥渘ew activities and communities that give us a sense of unity and shared meaning.鈥� 聽He adds: 鈥淚t鈥檚 important that we find something authentic to us, which might offer an opportunity for connection with others.鈥�

Accept that sometimes we outgrow friendships

Not all friendships will last for ever 鈥� people and circumstances change.

Jodie says: 鈥淚t can be painful to consider and to accept, but sometimes, we outgrow our friendships, and that鈥檚 ok. As we grow and develop ourselves, we might become interested in different things or realise some people aren鈥檛 that good for us.鈥�