In today's digital era, many new parents turn to social media for advice and connection. This has given rise to so called 鈥榤umfluencers鈥� 鈥� curated, glamorous online personas seamlessly blending motherhood with lifestyle branding. But while many of these social media accounts offer a sense of community and light entertainment, some can also promote unrealistic ideals that can impact our mental health.

Comparison culture

Registered psychotherapist says that research shows that social media influencers in the form of mumfluencers are having both a negative and positive impact on new mums.

鈥淎lthough these accounts can create a sense of connection by posting about relatable experiences which can feel inclusive, remove feelings of isolation, and also add humour at a stressful time鈥t鈥檚 important to remember that first and foremost they are using social media to create a brand, whose primary purpose is marketing.鈥�

Registered therapist echoes this and adds: 鈥淥ne of the most harmful impacts mumfluencers have on new mothers is perpetuating the toxic 鈥榖ounce back鈥� culture around postpartum bodies鈥� often glossing over the genuine challenges and complexities of parenting.鈥�

鈥淭he impact of this can be particularly harmful because many mothers already聽feel lonely and overwhelmed, and the comparison culture can make that聽worse,鈥� shares Ragini.

Unrealistic expectations

Louise agrees and says that the dangers of this is that it may leave those who are grappling with the realities of new parenthood to feel demoralised, 鈥榥ot good enough鈥� and even lead to depression.

Ragini adds the feeling of being judged for being a "bad mum" or not doing "enough" is common in her practice among new mums: 鈥淢any new mums talk about how people without children can't understand the demands, and the impact that motherhood has had on their bodies and identities.鈥澛�

However, Ragini says it鈥檚 important to recognise that the rise of mumfluencer culture reflects broader societal pressures on mothers that extend beyond social media. 鈥淢any influencers are navigating the same challenges as their followers, so the solution isn't necessarily to vilify individual mumfluencers,鈥� asserts Ragini.

How to silence mumfluencer comparison

If you feel overwhelmed by what you鈥檙e seeing on social media and find yourself falling into the comparison trap, here are our therapists鈥� top tips to help:

1.Remember the reel isn鈥檛 real

鈥�Understand that many mumfluencers are running businesses that depend on presenting an aspirational lifestyle,鈥� says Ragini. 鈥淲hat you're seeing is often their product, not their complete reality.鈥� Louise agrees and says that 鈥渢rying to live up to this heavily edited and filtered lifestyle is totally unrealistic.鈥澛�

2.Build real world connections

Louise says to try to prioritise real world connections with new mums through local classes and groups as these will ultimately be far more fulfilling and often lead to true friendships.听

3. Unfollow and curate with purpose

Our therapists suggest choosing accounts that foster honesty - not perfection. If a profile triggers guilt or comparison, it鈥檚 time to unfollow or mute it. Fill your feed with diverse, real voices that feel supportive and inclusive.

4. Limit exposure during vulnerable moments

Ragini suggests limiting social media use during vulnerable times, such as late-night feeding sessions or when you're feeling overwhelmed: 鈥淐onsider designated phone-free periods during your day,鈥� says Ragini.

5. Practice self-compassion over perfection

We all know that a harsh inner critique can fuel anxiety. So instead, try to respond to yourself as you would a dear friend. Acknowledge that motherhood is complex and that imperfection is part of real connection with your baby. Ragini says that moving from having a harsh self鈥慶ritic to understanding that struggles and imperfections are normal parts of motherhood can be a real gamechanger.

6. Seek additional support when needed

For new mums really struggling with the realities of parenthood, Louise says it鈥檚 vital to seek help from your health visitor or GP. 鈥淚t鈥檚 important to ascertain whether the stress, exhaustion and pressures of new parenthood have tipped over into post-natal depression,鈥� shares Louise. 鈥淭his can come on very quickly and acutely or be more gradual. Anyone can suffer from it. Hormonal fluctuations can play a part, as can previous or existing mental ill health, social, financial and cultural factors.听

鈥淓ven if post-natal depression isn鈥檛 ultimately diagnosed, but none the less a new mum is struggling with low mood, increased anxiety, loneliness, overwhelm, insomnia etc鈥� counselling can be a place where they can be totally open about how they are feeling. It can often feel embarrassing to express these difficulties to family or friends, as new motherhood is idealised as a happy life event and saying otherwise can feel shameful. They can also work with the counsellor to get to the root of these feelings, work on past experiences or future worries that may be exacerbating things, as well as learning coping strategies.鈥�

To find a counsellor or therapist who specialises in helping new mums, please visit our Therapist Directory or our 鈥�how to get therapy鈥� page.听