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Coaching is often presented as a linear journey – from problem to solution, confusion to clarity, goal-setting to goal-achieving. Indeed, in the early days of my coaching career, I can remember describing my work as a coach with the phrase: ‘I help clients get from A to B quicker than if they weren’t working with me.’ Ah, the joys of efficiency and output!

In a world that privileges certainty and progress, this can be a comforting story. But for anyone who’s ever sat in the quiet intensity of a real coaching conversation, we know this isn’t the whole truth.Ìý

This is even more true for transformative coaching, which creates conversations that go beneath the surface of a presenting desire, goal and change, to explore the underlying beliefs, attitudes, assumptions, values and so on that make up a person’s encounter with the world.

Transformative coaching invites us to look beyond this neat narrative. It suggests that change doesn’t happen because we master productivity hacks or set smarter goals. Change, the kind that reshapes how we live, love, lead and understand ourselves, emerges from a more mysterious place. It grows in the soil of presence, paradox, relationship and deep inquiry.Ìý

In this article, I explore transformative coaching, not as a method or a model, but as lived personal philosophy – one that honours the full complexity of being human. I follow the threads of existential inquiry, psychological insight and philosophical reflection to illuminate the radical and beautiful mess of real transformation.Ìý

The myth of the linear journeyÌý

Much of contemporary coaching still clings to a narrative of progress: a client moves from ‘here’ to ‘there’ with clarity, commitment and strategy. The well-known, traditional GROW coaching model was the epitome of this approach – structured, outcome-driven and delightfully neat. Yet, this framing often feels reductionist when held against the richness and ambiguity of human life.Ìý

In the Paradoxical Theory of Change, Arnold Beisser challenges this linear model at its core.¹ He proposes that change occurs not when we strive to become something else, but when we fully accept who and where we already are. In other words, transformation begins not with effort, but with acceptance.Ìý

It took me several years to truly grasp this paradox in my own life. At first, it felt counterintuitive. Surely, coaching was about moving forward, not settling for what is? Yet the more I coached, and was coached, the more I saw that deep shifts often arose from surrender, not striving.Ìý

I remember a time when I kept resisting my own indecisiveness, labelling it as weakness. But it was only when I stopped fighting it – when I became curious about what that indecision might be protecting – that something shifted. I didn’t become ‘decisive’ overnight, but I became more compassionate with myself. That compassion, paradoxically, created space for clearer action.Ìý

In transformative coaching, the client is not rushed towards a solution. They are invited into the richness of the present moment – however tangled, painful or unresolved it may be. The ‘here’ is not a launching pad; it is the terrain. And by turning towards it with courage and compassion, new pathways often emerge on their own.Ìý

This requires coaches to step away from the role of performance optimisers and towards that of witness, companion and co-inquirer. It invites us into the uncomfortable, generative ground of not-knowing. And this brings us to the heart of what coaching really becomes when stripped of metrics and performance: a form of inquiry – not just into what we do, but into who we are.Ìý

Coaching as personal philosophical inquiryÌý

Over the last decade, I’ve been fascinated with the idea of transformative coaching as a form of practical philosophy – not abstract concepts, but lived questioning.Ìý

Clients rarely arrive articulating overtly philosophical concepts, but beneath their practical dilemmas lie precisely these kinds of age-old questions:Ìý

• What does it mean to live a good life?Ìý
• Am I free to choose who I become?
• Is my identity fixed, or am I always in flux?Ìý
• How do I know what I know?Ìý
• What are my emotions telling me and can I trust them?Ìý
• Is my rational mind truly rational?Ìý
• Can I trust life, or must I control it?Ìý
• What truly matters to me?Ìý

These aren’t merely theoretical concerns. They shape the way people experience success, failure, relationships, time and even suffering. Every statement – ‘I should be further along by now,’ or ‘I can’t change who I am’ – is embedded with philosophical assumptions.Ìý

Transformative coaching, I believe, invites clients into personal philosophical inquiry, whether or not they name it as such. It mirrors the ancient traditions of philosophy as a guide to life. Socrates didn’t offer answers; he asked unsettling, illuminating questions. He didn’t teach a doctrine; he created a space for self-examination.Ìý

As coaches, we do something remarkably similar. We don’t give clients a path, we help them uncover the terrain beneath their feet. We don’t impose values, we support clients to explore what they truly hold dear.Ìý

In this sense, the philosophy I am talking about is not about making things intellectual. It’s about recognising that human growth is already complex, already ambiguous, already full of competing meanings and tensions. The coaching space gives that complexity room to breathe.Ìý

Philosophical inquiry doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It becomes visible in the paradigms we bring to life – our implicit blueprints, or paradigms, for how the world works.Ìý

The hidden paradigms that shape usÌý

Every client brings their own unique worldview to coaching – often unconsciously. These hidden paradigms shape what they believe is possible, how they interpret experience and what they perceive as problems. Transformative coaching helps bring these into awareness. It doesn’t ask, ‘What’s your plan to change this?’ so much as, ‘What ideas are shaping how you see this situation and where did they come from?’ These paradigms are not abstract. They manifest in specific, deeply personal ways. Some of the most common areas of paradigmatic inquiry include:Ìý

Presence, relationship, and the trace of contactÌý

Of course, none of this inquiry happens in isolation. It happens in relationship.Ìý

As the existential psychotherapist Irvin Yalom wrote, ‘Every contact leaves a trace’² and that sentence has stayed with me throughout my coaching journey. It reminds me that the coaching space is not neutral. It’s alive, dynamic and mutual.Ìý

Presence in coaching is not merely about listening well. It’s about bringing a depth of attention that allows something new to emerge. It’s a quality of being-with that is rare in everyday life – a spacious, non-judging awareness that signals: you are safe here, exactly as you are.

In that space, the coach becomes more than a facilitator – they become a mirror, a catalyst and a witness. Change doesn’t always come from a brilliant question. Sometimes it arrives in a moment of silence, when the client feels truly seen.Ìý

I recall a session where a client, caught in self-doubt, paused mid-sentence. I said nothing. The silence held. Eventually, she whispered, ‘I’ve never not been interrupted before.’ In that moment, something shifted in her relationship to her own voice, worth and attention.Ìý

This is the art of relational coaching – not guiding from ahead, not pushing from behind, but walking alongside.Ìý

Living inquiry: the evolving selfÌý

So, where does all this leave us? Transformative coaching is not a tidy intervention. It’s an ongoing inquiry, a deepening into the mystery of being human. It doesn’t offer a finished identity, but an evolving one. It doesn’t resolve all ambiguity, but teaches us how to befriend it. Drawing from phenomenology, it values how a client experiences the world, not just what they think about it.³ Drawing from dialogic practice, it sees meaning as something co-created in real time.⁴ And drawing from existential thought, it recognises that not all questions have answers – but all questions can be lived into.⁵ The coaching space becomes a crucible for this living inquiry. It is a place where clients encounter not only new insights, but new ways of being – with themselves, with others, with life.Ìý

Twelve stances for navigating the human conditionÌý

As we’ve seen, transformative coaching is not about fixing or directing. It’s about entering into a shared inquiry – an exploration of how we live, who we are and what truly matters. But how do we orient ourselves within such a spacious, uncertain terrain?Ìý

At Animas Centre for Coaching, we articulate this orientation through the 12 Principles of Transformative Coaching – not as a methodology, but as a constellation of stances.Ìý

These principles serve as grounding postures that help us hold space for complexity, ambiguity and emergence. They do not offer a formula, but a way of seeing and being that is profoundly human.

Together, they form a compass for coaches who choose to work beyond the surface – coaches who trust the client’s unfolding and honour the deeper patterns of transformation.Ìý

Foundational stances: roots of the practiceÌý

• Unknowing: We begin with humility, suspending our assumptions and staying open to what the client’s experience wants to reveal. We do not lead with expertise, but with curiosity.Ìý
• Humanistic: We honour the client’s intrinsic worth and autonomy, creating a space that is respectful, non-judging and grounded in deep regard for the whole person.Ìý
• Phenomenological: We privilege the client’s lived experience, focusing on how they encounter the world moment by moment, rather than imposing external interpretations.Ìý

Relational stances: the trunk that holds the spaceÌý

• Relational: Transformation happens in relationship. We centre trust, empathy and presence, recognising that the quality of connection is the intervention.
• Dialogic: Insights emerge through dialogue, not direction. We invite co-creation through meaningful conversation, rather than delivering outcomes or instructions.Ìý
• Emergent: We trust the unfolding process, resisting the urge to control or accelerate. Change arises in its own time and rhythm when the space is held with care.Ìý
• Collaborative: We partner with the client in shaping the coaching process. Power is shared, and each session is a mutual act of discovery and design.Ìý

Transformational stances: the branches of possibilityÌý

• Paradigmatic: We support clients to examine and shift the beliefs, assumptions, and worldviews that shape how they live. These are often invisible until named , and once seen, they can be reimagined.
• Holistic: We address the client as a whole being – mind, body, spirit and context. We recognise that transformation doesn’t happen in fragments but in integrated shifts.Ìý
• Systemic: We consider the wider systems – cultural, organisational, familial – that shape the client’s experience. Transformation is never isolated; it ripples outward.Ìý
• Integrative: We draw from diverse disciplines and approaches, not to cobble together a toolkit, but to meet the client with what serves them best in each moment.Ìý
• Pragmatic: We help clients turn insight into action. Not through pressure or performance, but by supporting them to integrate what’s been uncovered into their everyday lives.Ìý

These 12 principles are not steps to follow. They are ways of being – stances that allow us to meet the client exactly where they are, and to honour their unfolding with compassion and courage.Ìý

In a world that often demands certainty and solutions, these stances remind us that coaching is not a quick fix but a slow art. A practice of presence. A dance with the unknown. A commitment to the sacred work of seeing and being seen.Ìý

Practical implications for coachesÌý

So, what does all this mean for our practice?Ìý

Transformative coaching can feel abstract, almost poetic, in its language and ideas. But its implications are deeply practical. It’s not about adding more techniques, but about shifting how we show up. What follows are simple, intentional shifts you might try on – not as rigid rules, but as invitations to explore a more open, spacious and human way of coaching.Ìý

Loosen the grip of a fixed outcomeÌý

While clients may arrive wanting change, we must hold their desires lightly. Often the goal is a doorway, not a destination. Transformation unfolds when we stay curious about the why behind the goal.Ìý

Cultivate philosophical curiosity

We don’t need to be philosophers, but we do need to honour the philosophical dimensions of coaching. Questions of value, meaning and freedom are never far from the surface.Ìý

Honour the relational fieldÌý

Your presence matters as much as your technique. When a client feels held without judgment, their capacity to explore expands. You are not just a coach – you are a temporary witness to someone’s sacred becomingÌý

Embrace not-knowingÌý

Resist the urge to resolve too quickly. Transformation often begins in the space between knowing and not-knowing. Our role is to hold that space with integrity, patience and care.

The beauty of the messÌý

If we strip away the jargon, the methods, the metrics – what remains? Two human beings, sitting together in the mystery of life. Not fixing or solving, but listening, witnessing and allowing what wants to emerge.Ìý

This is the heart of transformative coaching. It’s not a roadmap, it’s a mirror. It’s not a method, it’s a conversation. And in that conversation – in the raw, imperfect, deeply human space of self-encounter – transformation begins.Ìý

In a culture obsessed with answers, transformative coaching offers something rare: a space to stay in the questions. And in doing so, it affirms that our lives are not problems to be solved, but journeys to be deeply, courageously lived.Ìý